Monthly Archives: March 2015

The Social Media Shield

Shielding the ability to make assumptions through the use of the computer is an injustice. Social media provides a glimpse into people but in no way provides a complete picture. Yet the idea we can make decisions of absolute certainty about people based on the small glimpse through the shield of the computer is; in essence; denying the humanity of people.

A man may genuinely be a soft soul; who’d never harm anything; yet makes one statement to this very core of who he is and it gets assumed he’s hunting for carnal delights. This isn’t to say; he’d turn it down; but this is a man who easily respects others and doesn’t get unreasonably upset when interest isn’t returned.

A woman may be genuinely interested in subjects that historically are predominately male and express her opinion in this arena. This shouldn’t be a call to arms to defend the male cave; especially if she knows what she’s talking about.

When we allow ourselves to respond unreasonably to a moment’s strong emotion, we make of ourselves victims of assumptions that do harm; mostly to ourselves. We may push away those who’d be the best in our lives for the sake of a momentary, emotional belief; this is unusual so might be trouble. Trouble is nowhere in the vicinity of the mind of the speaker yet the wall of difference that slams up between keeps understanding away.

It is our willingness to take a moment, let the emotion settle and let reason reign that allows us the opportunity to connect to those who could be the best our lives come into contact with. They may be different from the normal but that could be the very thing your own life needs to find real fulfillment.

It the interest of fairness there is the potential that real harm exists but to lay a generalization that; where one person in a particular group may be interested in causing harm, it colors the opinions of the rest is unreasonable. Blinding ourselves with generalizations and not be willing to gauge on an individual basis may have the consequence of chasing away the good and inviting the bad free reign in your life.

Stand in gale, holding on for dear life. The first to offer a hand of assistance is the man you’ve spent years assuming is a terrible soul. The second is the man you don’t know but assumed was the gentlest of people. As the gale intensifies and threatens to blow you into the sea, it is the man with the sour look on his face who finds the will to fight for you. The other turns and looks to himself.

This; in itself; is a small glimpse and people change through experience. The one who was good was confronted with a real threat and balked. The one who was sour may’ve become this person through lifelong experience with others assuming bad things but found his heart to try when tested. In the end a life was saved in the face of wrong assumptions.

The next scenario involves a man who needs help but with something unique. In order for this man to find the help he needs, he must remain silent. The answer to his trouble will come from the one who has the desire and willingness to understand he is hurt and not the uncaring soul everyone assumes he is. This is a man who needs something he cannot seek out but simply hope relief will come from one who finds him important enough to pay attention to.

In the end we can only do the best we can but that is, the question I must ask; are we doing the best we can or allowing ourselves to be complacent and allow the pain of assumptions to continue?

Nearsighted!

I’m comfortable. Got my phone/tablet is front of my eyes and I’m making connections to people. That’s an intesting tidbit. I’ll like that. I like that pic of the puppy.

“Ugh…ouch…stop it!”

“What was that? Didn’t catch it. Did you know So-and-So is marrying Mr. So-and-So? Your favorite artist just released a new song. It’s good. Why aren’t you answering?”

Ugh. I have to take my eyes off my phone/tablet. So inconsiderate!

“Huh? Why are you bleeding? Answer me!”

Got to get up from my comfortable spot and shake your shoulder. Cold. Why is that?

“You’re dead?”

Can’t deal. Get comfortable again. Insert attention to the phone/tablet again. This world’s much better. That’s another pic I’ll like.

Motivation to open one’s mouth vs. intent to cause harm

There’s a blurred line that’s getting wider by the day between the need to call someone out for committing harm just for the crime of opening their mouth to express an opinion. The freedom of speech was made into to a right for the purpose of protecting a person’s right to say unpopular things. If it was only popular speech that’s allowed we wouldn’t need the constitutional right. Our society is getting too far away from the demand that people grow thicker skins against the words people say. It’s only the actions taken we have a right to judge. This is not to say I agree with what comes out of some people’s mouths but I do respect their right to say it. If I don’t want to hear it, I have the right to walk away.

This being said; I do think a few topics can be looked at from the perspective; speech equtes to action. I don’t think we need to throw people into the snake pit but some aggressive counseling might be needed. I read recently about a female public figure taking heat over social media because she was supporting something important to her. The verbal abuse she took was unwarranted and the speech aimmed at her terrifying. I do not belittle the emotions she experienced but I read, she intends to seek legal action without determining if the words thrown were accompanied by evidence that action was to follow.

We’ve gone backwards as a society if we’re allowed to take action against someone just because we were frightened for a moment by the words they say. We can’t have it both ways. If we say a person has a right to speak, whatever comes out of their mouths; then we can’t become unreasonably responsive just because we don’t like what they have to say. We simply need to be aware if the speech has a serious potential to become action.

I also question the motives of several public figures when they race to the defense of someone who was the target of unfriendly words. Many seek the podium to express on air, their outrage, and demand a person’s life be ripped apart because they said a word. When does the soapbox drama end for the sake of someone’s ability to keep their name in the spotlight vs. the person they seek to victimize because that person expressed their opinion?

It is a sad truth that many of our greatest social issues are kept in the spotlight by those who can’t stand the idea of returning to mediocrity if the issue were allowed to die a natural death by being put on the back burner where it should be. We need to change the focus of importance. We wouldn’t need a library full of laws if we could put things into proper perspective.

It isn’t as important to break people down to subsets then write a mountain of laws to protect each subset. We just need to change how we view the basic laws. Murder is murder regardless of who was killed. How it was done is important for the technicalities of the law and for those whose job it is to determine penalty. The why, is also important for the same reasons. What we don’t need is a thousand people coming out and saying it was worse because the victim was part of a particular subset and the perpetrator another. One person killed another. It doesn’t get worse than that.

Our need to overdramatize kills the very foundation of what the law is meant to do. The law is meant to break things down to the logical and keep emotion out of it. Emotion is what leads to false imprisonment. Emotion leads to people being punished to a greater or lesser degree than the crime warrants. Then there’s the whole concept of punishing people for taking advantage of a right and calling it a crime.

Two people expressing opposing opinions is healthy. The only time it becomes worrisome is one one side or the other is prepared to use a battering ram to run their opinion down the other’ s throat until they change their minds. The process of friendly debate keeps our society running but when someone isn’t willing to say; “It’s possible my opponent is right and it’s possible I’m wrong,” then it has the potential to turn from words into action.

Keep on believing in what’s important to you. Talk about it in an uplifting way to help others see its merits. Credibility in arguments is lost the moment too much emotion is allowed to infect the words. Emotion is a great motivator or a brace to hold you up but it can be a wall you run into at full speed the moment you let it out of your control.

Be wise, speak your minds to your hearts content and chill out about the words people use. The emotions built, to cry foul at the words, may blind you to the real problem coming right behind them.

C’mon Guys!!!

In response to recent events in the news, I have to say; “C’Mon Guys!”

To be fair it must be said; when men post photos of women it’s their way of showing their appreciation. This is understood. But when did we decide respect doesn’t matter? Fighting against the blood flow when it travels south is rough; I know. The fight is worth it for the sake of basic respect. I’ve yet to run into many girls that don’t appreciate being appreciated for how they look. I’ve also yet to run into many women who take it well to have nude photos posted without the RESPECT of asking. To take pictures of unconcious women and share them with others is RAPE gentlemen.

I say; post all the pictures you want, if the girl has been asked; then granted permission. There’s nothing wrong with this; regardless of stuffy, old-fashioned opinions. If we’ve made the choice women are free to make there own choices then we can’t complain just because they choose to go against the norm.

I also say; it’s worth it to fight against the “STUPID” that affects us mortal men and think about showing the respect women deserve. Your lives will be better for it. We’ve come too far as humans to keep getting caught by the animal side of our natures.

It’s very hard to be a man who shows respect for women and keep running into the wall of distrust built because of idiotiotic behavior. I understand it’s hard to fight the spur of the moment decision but you need to ask yourselves; are the consequences truly worth it, when you take what you think is a simple picture and share with your friends, and it lands you in jail?

Her voice on the subject needs; and deserves; to be heard!!!

The Unintentional Blinders Still Betray

Hanging over a cliff’s edge, your voice is mighty loud. The backs turned and earbuds in; drown the awful sound. Shh…they say; “What I want to hear is more important.” The cliffhanger sits on the brink of the fall and can’t be heard for the noise. It must be nice to live in oblivious disdain for anything beyond a pleasant sound.

In their heart of hearts do they cry; “I care, I care…I do!” Just wait one moment as I see what Ms. So-And-So is wearing to the ball. Oh…can you believe it? She’s marrying the hot guy; he’s marrying the hot chick. In a moment; pipe down; this song is my favorite.

Can you hear it over the cliffhanger’s scream?

The Continuous Cycle of Going Nowhere

Imagine you’re a burgeoning agoraphobic and see this whole world where your life used to be. It places one on the race track of the house; burning holes in the carpet.

Now, imagine you’re one who knows someone like that. Is it reasonable to watch this person climb further and further away from everything possible out there? Or is it better to put out a helping hand and say; “I want you out here.”

The closet agoraphobe who thinks, the window of their computer gives the semblance of living; is a conduit for pain dragging them farther from those who truly care. The problem stems from the fog of pain in the eyes of the dearly departed; from active life; and is blind to those that might fight for them.

Life is a measure of difficult upon difficult but for the man or woman who enters this life; home becomes a prison simply waiting for the one who has the key to unlock the cell.

Where is the one who has the will and insight to see the pain and not say; “That person just doesn’t care.” The one with this pain sees it and falls farther from sight. The one with this pain knows their problem but without the anchor provided by one stable enough to fight; life is quicksand slowly pulling them down.

Success versus Women

After reading stories; concerning the nature of what women are forced to put up with to find success; one must question the area of success men and women both struggle to balance. This one area is the basic question of control. We see money, cars, expensive vacations and the knowledge; you’re free to spend your money; and never risk falling into the red; as being the markers for success.

For many though; it’s a desire for power; the understanding of those; under you; must do as you say. This poses a problem when the one in control has problems limiting that control to work related issues and not discipline other employees; for failing to maintain proper workplace protocol.

This issue creates problems in; many areas of social discourse; but never so much as when dealing with basic natural desires between men and women. For centuries; men developed the need to be in control; the dominate. It still, gets taught to young males in the simple education of watching the older generations. Even men who don’t think they commit acts of, gender discrimination; get caught by it on occasion.

Women aren’t bothered by a man showing his attraction. It only, becomes a problem when a women says; “No more. Please respect my ability to control my life.” This flies in the face of everything; many men; are taught from early age. It is unfortunate, we need laws to protect women; from the perspective of one who knows this; as women are, more beautiful; when free to be comfortable in their environment.

In the recent stories you see this, frequently. Women having to, take their issues to court; because those that should, protect them in the workplace; fail to do so. Those higher up the chain want to say; “Just deal with it.” They find their egos being tormented when the women answer, “No!”

When you read about women having their bodies touched; without invitation; by a man or another woman; then have their complaints ignored; a hostile workplace has been planted. When the managers decide the problem is, her; not the man or woman with wandering hands; the hostile workplace can be laid at the manager’s feet. The same holds true for the man who gets touched without invitation.

The issue runs up against the idea; where does the control stop at work? Most recognize that; control stops at work; and doesn’t allow it to creep into the personal. For some though; they get comfortable with control; and take it hard when another person says; “There is a limit.”

Each person with a writer’s heart needs to stand up and say; “Let the women work and your business will be better for it.”

If I started a, poll about whether; managers who make sure women can simply, concentrate on their jobs; versus; managers who harrass or allow harrassment in the workplace; show better productivity; I’m betting on a landslide in favor of letting women simply, do their jobs.

The opinion of one who says; “Let the, personal be personal and professional be professional.”

She Comes

Wrapped in a, silken canvas; of peaches and cream, she comes. Looking upon this vision creates the, physical response; for sure; but I look deeper and see the rapture she feels, to be herself; bared for the world as she knows who she is. Can heaven provide a better portrait than the woman who knows herself and with the smallest wiggle tear down kingdoms? I think not but the man who takes exception to this beauty is a fool; for the woman kept down in pain and fear is but a weapon waiting to strike; when fear turns desperate and desperation becomes courage. A forge from which the great shine forth and the steel of her soul is written.

Wrapped in the, steel gauntlet; of pain turned to purpose, she comes. Looking upon this vision takes the, truly brave man; but for the one who can take it, life has a sweeter taste; as the woman with the steel, to be herself; and choose, leaves the man willing to face her departure; and see her choose to stay, forges the greater bond. Weak is the man who can’t bear to, risk the loss. Strong is the man who faces this demon and wins the true heart of a free woman.

Wrapped in the, glory of freedom; strong and sure, she comes. Looking upon this vision brings the hope, of a truly balanced world; when all the world’s sons and daughters; of whatever color graces their exteriors; can look upon one another without the need to say, “I’m better than you.” When this days comes; if it ever does; shall the world be ready to look to the stars, for more grand adventure; and find friends of a different nature.

Live strong but kind as we each deserve to, do this favor for ourselves.

Look upon the world with fresh eyes and say, “I need to take care of you because without you, I wouldn’t be here.”