Musings #4

The world is like a fifteen-year-old in that, it’s on the cusp of understanding what it is to be mature but stiil resisting, as the call of childhood behaviors are still prominent. A truly mature world will always be based on how we, as individuals, treat everyone else around us. The women, the ugly and all the various reasons one person might look down upon another will be wiped away and everyone will view each other with respect but also not be shy about stating their opinions. A disrespectful opinion is not necessarily something to be discounted out of hand; until that opinion has been determined to have good cause or not. If it does then it should be debated. If it doesn’t then we should still respect that a person has the right to say it but also, must accept the backlash that might occur, as others express their rightful opinions.

Stand up in the face of unfair judgements and allow all our brothers and sisters to find a place where they fit with everyone else.

Musings

A finger, trails; smoothly and comfortingly; along her cheek to; wipe the tear, away; then, in a, moment of, moonlit, poetry; lips, kiss; the, tear-streak; and the, smile that, blooms; changes, her, whole day. A glass shard from the, heart that was, broken; is, glued; back in, place; from someone, other than; the, boy; who, shattered it; to, tell her; She’s worth it.

Ode To Her.

She stands before a rainbow and it bows to her beauty. She stands before the sun and it pales to her brightness. A diamond can’t compete and neither can gold. She’s a gift to the world and one not sent back; if one truly sees the value within. A graceful step full of strength and hands made to love but only for those with the power to see her for what she really is. Free as a bird and beautiful to behold because she is. Fear of her freedom is a weak game and not worthy of anything but our scorn, for when one truly admires her for each treasured trait, can one be all that they can be too.

Welcome her grandly. Keep her in love. Most importantly, keep her free, for in this state shall she find her true self, and be the treasure we need to see.

Striving For Greater Value

To remain happy with displaying the animal sides of our natures is; in essence; denying our very humanity. It diminishes the value of the treasure to be obtained to force a woman to give of herself instead of seeking the greater reward of her free choice. I know; having been a male all my life; how hard it is to deny our animal instincts but it is this very fight; so our human minds may seek the greater treasures that await; that makes the fight worth it.

We; as human men; though it’d be easier to give into our instinctual impulses; need this fight because it makes us better men. Human men have always sought out the greatest challenges; to build, to destroy and to conquer. The greatest battle to be fought is the one against our own natures.

When we can rise above the animal; control it; and let our rational mind greater sway, we open endless possibilities because that which we seek most in this world – women – will become something more than the appeasement of a moment’s carnal delight. They become jewels, more precious than diamonds. They become wealth, greater than all the gold on the planet.

This is in response to a recent story concerning several young men forcing themselves on one young woman. The consequences to the young men will be serious but the consequences to that one young woman will be devastating for years; until she finds her value again as someone greater than a few young men’s plaything. She’s a human woman and this alone makes her worth more than all the wealth available.

We; as men; also need to hold ourselves to higher standards and say; “Our lives as free men; for the whole of our lives; are worth more than throwing it all away to appease a momentary desire.” If the woman you seek is worth throwing your life away for then, by all means, let her know the proper way so she may decide if you’re her knight. If the individual woman is only worth a few minutes of your time then value the human being and let her live as she chooses.

This isn’t about denying ourselves anything but giving ourselves a chance at something greater than giving into momentary lapses of control that could see us throwing years of our lives away and; worst of all; damaging a human woman whose only crime was; SHE WAS THERE.

We’re no longer cavemen. We’re no longer barbarians. We have the ability to be greater than that. We have the ability to say; “We’ve grown into HUMAN men and seek the greater experiences that come from balancing emotion with controlled rational thought.”

To all women who’ve experienced this pain or not; YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN PLAYTHINGS. Your free choice in the greatest treasure available.

To all men who’ve fought the battle and attained your woman’s free choice; Congratulations!

Before Your Eyes Take That Ride

green eyed bliss

Before your eyes take that ride

Left step, right step, I explode – pop – slam – into your sight.

Starting with the feet,they’re small and sweet; then ride up the calf, so smooth and neat. Keep riding up the thigh to the…Stop!

Before your eyes take that ride, look into mine where my soul resides. Make friends with my pain before you think about the gain.

The journey continues over the rear, keeping in mind the point, “most dear!” – then it’s up the abs I keep in shape, to the mounds of heavenly woman’s…Stop!

Before your eyes take that ride, look into mine where my soul resides. Give me a reason to believe, what’s found within cures your need.

I hold respect to a higher view so, when you think to follow the cues; the heat in your body provides you; my eyes should be your first stop!

Within this face that stirs your need are the orbs which grant you leave so, before your eyes take the ride look into mine and abide; there’s a world within this form that tempts your ardor’s norm and seeks recognition for its value.

If you can’t then…Stop!

Before your eyes take that ride, look into mine where my soul resides. Make friends with my pain before you seek the gain.

Free Story

Application At 30

Love is waiting for those who find the strength to break the chains that bind them.

 Monday 9:00 a.m.

The blonde woman walked into this office’s human resources department. At the first desk she asks, “May I fill out an application?”

The smartly dressed raven-haired woman raised an eyebrow at the short black skirt and handed over the application with an expression that said, if you wish to waste your time go ahead. The blue eyes of the receptionist became slightly troubled when the blonde woman sat and an ACE bandage could be seen on the upper thigh of the left leg.

The blonde woman set herself in what she hoped was a professional pose in the seat then looked at the application.

First line; name. She wrote, “Candice Michelle Barton.”

She thought, “What are these words? I know they mean me; as far as what my parents called me. I have no connection to them. Candice Michelle Barton has no identity without him.”

Second line; date. “February 2nd, 2015.”

She thought, “Two days after the trial. Six months since I dropped his bowling ball on his head.”

Third line; social security number. “010-01-0101.”

She thought, “Had to ask my mother yesterday. Didn’t remember it.”

Fourth line; phone number. “000-555-1234.”

She thought, “Got my own phone for the first time yesterday. Had to look at it to remember the number.”

Fifth line; birthdate. “January 23rd, 1985.”

She thought, “First day of existence in the hands of a weak woman and a bastard.”

Sixth line; maiden name. “Barton.”

She thought, “At least the asshole didn’t force me to marry him.”

Seventh line; address. “800 Upcreeknopaddle Rd. Anywhere, USA. 80000”

She thought, “I hope I bought enough locks. I’ll pick up a couple more for the windows today.”

Eighth line; email address. “Not applicable.”

She thought, “Never had the privacy to have my own email.”

Ninth line; desired salary. Stuck.

She thought, “I should put minimum wage but I don’t know what that is. If I put down the desired salary then I need to calculate a thirty percent reduction because I’m a woman.”

She wrote, “Minimum wage.”

Tenth line; availability. “All day, every day.”

She thought, “I’m finally free to decide that for myself.”

Eleventh line; position desired. “Anything that pays.”

She thought, “I should be an investigator for the city. I have a talent to attract all the deadbeats to me. I wouldn’t have to work hard. They’d come searching me out.”

She actually wrote, “Mailroom.”

Twelfth line; education. “G.E.D.”

She thought, “Had to drop out in the ninth grade after the man who fathered me pushed my mom down the stairs and broke her back. I had to stay home to care for her, the house and become his new target for abuse. My father owned my virginity.”

Lines thirteen through fifteen; college and other education. “Not applicable.”

She thought, “The bastards kept me from that experience.”

Line sixteen; work experience. “First job.”

She thought, “Thirty and looking for work for the first time. Those assholes really screwed me; in more than one way.”

Line seventeen; special skills. “Cooking multiple meals in less than ten minutes; the first one for the wall so he could pound on my psyche and the second for him to eat.

“Cleaning a rage-cleared table in less than two minutes to avoid the fists.

“Household handy-woman because he couldn’t be bothered to get off his ass to fix anything.

“Physically tough; except for nerve damage in my left arm from repeatedly being thrown up against a wall and raped.

“Setting a bowling ball trap so I didn’t have to stand close to him to gain my freedom.

“Sitting in a police station for hours detailing each and every reason I had to drop the bowling ball on his head; killing him.

“Sitting in a courtroom listening to the D.A. try to convince a jury that what I did wasn’t self-defense.

“Winning a victory for me and my fellow punching bags by being found not guilty; self-defense; justifiable homicide.

“Not breaking down when I finally gained the freedom to make my own decisions. Taking it one day at a time.”

She wrote, “Cleaning, organization and a willingness to adapt.”

Line eighteen; references. “Do people with the ability to sweep the obvious under the rug count? What about his friends? They were the only people I knew.”

She wrote, “Douglas Bender. Attorney.”

Line nineteen; have you ever been convicted of a felony?

Candice snorted as she thought, “The D.A. tried.”

She wrote. “No”

Looking over the application, it seemed pretty sparse even for a temp job like this. She read the disclaimers for the first time in her life.

Signing it, dating it then handing it in, she was asked to wait.

The raven-haired receptionist took the application into the corner office and Candice could hear murmuring for a few minutes. An older brunette came out and asked the blonde to step into her office.

When they were seated the older woman began, “I’m Samantha Franklin. The application is thin but my receptionist Kelly said the bandage on your leg should be all the interview you need. Tell me your story.”

Candice sat back in her short, mini-skirt; the best thing she owned; displaying the bandage and responded, “I don’t have a story. I was born two days ago when a jury saved me from the life of a punching bag. Thirty years of being seen as less than human by my father then the first boyfriend who rescued me from my father. I’ve only been a full human for two days. This is the first application I’ve ever filled out. This is the first job I’ve tried to get. The phone in my purse is the first I’ve ever owned. When I can afford it, I’ll have a computer then the very first email address I don’t need to have approval from a man to use. I’m not looking for pity. I found my strength to take control of my life. I just need the first job to solidify my place as an independent, free-thinking woman. I’m a clean slate ready to do whatever job comes my way. The only thing I’ve been trained to do is take the hits and keep on living.”

Samantha was impressed. “I’ll make sure you have a job. In fact, you’ll start here. I’ll pay you two dollars an hour above minimum wage to learn how to work in this office. Welcome to the world, Candice. You have real friends waiting out here.”

The blonde woman smiled then she was introduced to Kelly Richardson. The raven-haired woman took her to the conference room with the packet of new hire paperwork.

Kelly’s confident brown eyes looked into Candice’s blue after the door was shut and they were seated, “I’ve never experienced it but my sister did. What’s the bandage covering?”

Candice responded, “A burn scar.”

Kelly sat forward and hugged the blonde. “From this day on you have a best friend right here. Let’s get you into your life Candice.”

By the end of the day, the blonde had a work email address and she sat in front of a computer and thought about the first letter she’d write. She didn’t have anyone to send it to but used her minimal typing skills to write a general letter she’d send when she had someone to receive it.

The letter read, “To all my fellow battered women; I cry for you, I live for you and when I find you, I’ll save you. On this day I do declare that each and every one of you are loved by someone who truly loves you. I’ll fight for the day when all of us can say; NO MORE!!! I send my love on the air and hope you can feel it. Use it to strengthen you until you can throw off your own persecutor. We are human. We deserve to be free from pains we don’t bring on ourselves. We don’t deserve to be seen as less than human, slaves, stress relief for the fists of man.

“Stand up with me and call out; WE ARE FREE! Join me as I stare into the future unfettered by the demands placed on me by a boy. Real men don’t pound on women. Real men don’t yell, spit on, rape and hold women down. These are the actions of cowards. These are the actions of boys who refuse to grow up.

“I also call to anyone who knows a woman who gets battered. Don’t turn a blind eye. Don’t say, it isn’t your problem. Find the strength to pull them out of their dungeons and set them free to live as the should; free to be what they want to be, free to live without hurt and free to be the beautiful souls they could be. Every back turned to the pain is complicit with the fist that adds a new bruise. Every step away from the woman you know is in danger but who can’t ask for help is a dagger being twisted in her guts.”

Candice saved it in her draft file and would send it when she could.

As she was leaving, Kelly held onto her arm and said, “It’s time this independent woman teach her new sister how to be the same.”

Candice went out that night to learn about being her own woman.

She thought, “It shouldn’t take a bowling ball to the head to find this. It got the job done but it really was as if she was born at thirty. Kelly was seven years younger but had more experience living her own life.”

Into Anywhere, USA they desired to go did these two women bless the world with their independent and vibrant spirits.

Ignoring Allies

Where is the logic to ignore support? It feels a lot like speaking from within a void when those you support can’t be bothered to respond and let you know they hear you and appreciate the added voice. This tendency that many have, has the power, not to change the support, but to silence the voice of support. It makes one think that those who wish to push for better lives, not only want the support, but wish to direct who can support them; like it’s necessary to discriminate in who is allowed to be an ally.

It doesn’t matter as I’ll still stand up and say to all the women who’ve felt the sting of being tormented for simply being a woman; you are loved, even if that love comes from those you don’t know yet. Hold to your faith that someday the scales will be balanced.

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